The "chocolate chip cookies" of desire...

Desire can be sneaky. I have spent the better part of my life pushing desire down until it is barely noticeable. But, it's one of those odd pieces of how we are made. It never goes away. It just manifests itself in another form; the "Terminator" of human psyche. Just when you think you can name a desire, a passion, it morphs into a hidden yearning that just, well, sneaks up on you.

I think desire that's unacknowledged becomes like fresh, gooey chocolate chip cookies. You nibble on the edge of one and promise yourself you'll eat that solitary cookie, but before you know what happened, the whole plate is empty.

I'm not sure if I'll every notice the whispers of desire in their infancy. If I could figure out what the core need is then maybe I wouldn't stuff all of the cookies into my mouth thinking I will feel satisfied. More often than not, I just feel a queasy.

I want to feel alive. I want to find healthy ways to feed the cravings. I want to explore the balance between the physical, mental and spiritual.